The Diary of Ciel Phantomhive
by Sasquatch Kumquats
Summary: In this little beauty of a journal-entry series, readers will get to take a peek inside Master Ciel's personal diary. You'll be able to see Ciel's daily routine, personal thoughts and opinions, odd quirks and habits that I feel I should give him, and any surprises along the way. I don't update much;Maybe once every two months. But summer is here, and I'll hopefully be writing more
1. Introduction

Month One...  
>26th of May, 2011<p>Dear Diary...<p>

Today marks the first time I've decided to record my feelings instead of just keeping my mouth shut like a man, or giving my butler and servants uneccesarry work in pure spite of the world.

That, and Sebastian says I bitch about things a lot.

I'm still unsirdg nubyts mnuy yhi hihsg...

Sorry, my fingers must've slipped. These newfangled laptop computers are difficult to operate, and I've recently caught a cold. I'll have Sebastian clean up the snot which has sprayed over the stupid laptop he made me buy so he wouldn't have to deal with my complaining...

...Self-centered prick.

I've already grown tired of this; I am a 13 year old shota with a giant-ass toy company to run. Do you think I really care who grows tired of hearing my bitching? Have you ever had to deal with, like, 45 different people hammering the hotlines to complain about "faulty products" all at the same time?

No, I doubt you have.

Signed, Master Ciel Phantomhive 


	2. My Fiance Is A Ninja

Month One...  
>26th of May, 2011 (same day)<p>Dear Diary,<p>

Not twenty minutes ago, Lady Elizabeth was discovered by an unsuspecting Finnian to be hiding in a Rhododendron bush beneath my bedroom window.

Lord knows what she was doing there. How she even got onto the estate, let alone find a bush to put beneath my windowsill without being detected by even Sebastian, is beyond me. Frankly, the girl has reduced me to wanting to sleep with a light on.

While on the subject, Sebastian had taken Lady Elizabeth inside the manor for tea and pastries. Hopefully, he and I will be able to find out what her...intentions were.

I also wonder if she knew, when she chose the Rhododendron bush, that they can be somewhat poisonous in certain circumstances...

~~~~~about 10 minutes later~~~~~

I feel completely and utterly violated...

Apparently, Elizabeth was beside herself with worry that I was in love with one mister Alois Trancy, and had hidden a small camera inside of that Rhododendron bush about three days ago.

She claims to have come here today to make some adjustments to the angle at which the camera was sitting and some changes to the programing.

She's also informed me that she's been watching everything I've done in my bedroom for the past number of days and is convinced that I am not involved with that transvestide Alois Trancy.

If that doesn't spell "STALKER" across Elizabeth's forehead in luminescent, permanent ink, then I'm no brighter than a mule.

Signed, Master Ciel Phantomhive (who is somewhat scared for his life) 


	3. Sebastian Sees All

Month 1...  
>31st of May, 2011...<p>Dear Diary,<p>

Sebastian has informed me that the word "journal" is more widely used among males who dare keep a log of their feelings, and that the word "diary" was the term which females usualy use. Originally, I'd began today's entry as "Dear Journal," but the phrase didn't quite flow right.

Screw it. I'll use the womanly term.

Mei-Rin's destroyed yet another array of tablewear. The Genori and Wedgewood teasets of which I had been rather fond of lay now in broken pieces.

Somehow, Sebastian managed to keep the whole cabinet from crashing on top of her, despite the fact that he was outside pruning the roses on the opposite end of the estate just moments before. Somehow, he always seems to know about every little thing that goes on around here. It's almost as if he has sets of eyes in each room of the mansion.

Wait a moment...

How did Sebastian know that I've been using the term "diary?" ...

Reminders:  
>1) Repremand Sebastian for invading personal files.<br>2) Hide diary under pillow, instead of leaving it on nightstand in plain sight.

Signed, Master Ciel Phantomhive (whom must inquire his butler) 


	4. My Personal Stalker

Month 2 4th of June, 2011

Dear Diary,

I have spectacularly high suspicions that Lady Elizabeth has been here.

I could tell before I even took one glance at my manor house.

Upon returning to my manor preceeding a dinner with a business associate of mine, I needn't even look at the place to know that my fiancee had been there.

The scent carried on the warm summer air waflting in through the open cairrage window was enough of an alert.

Should you not know what this particular smell is, allow me to explain it a bitt better:

Basically, Lady Elizabeth leaves a particular smell behind whenever she is present somewhere. It is mainly a combination of flowery perfume, cosmetics, cotton candy, fingernail polish, glitter, and girl.

It is not particularly pleasent to me.

My suspicions were further confirmed upon entering my manor.

Lady Elizabeth had earlier departed, but she'd left much behind for me.

This time, she'd somehow managed to elude my useless servants and, God knows how, re-paint the walls, change the sheets, and hang draperies in my bedroom all in pink.

I haven't the faintest idea of how this girl can do this sort of thing so often and still avoid detection. I'll need to change all the padlocks... again...

I'd also like to write myself a reminder that I've been invited to a ball hosted by none other than Lady Elizabeth. I'll be honest, I'm incredibly terrified to go. Who knows what she'll do to me? Perhaps she'll drug my tea and haul me away to an enclosed space, or slip a tracking device under my skin...

I dread the day I forget to lock a door or shut a window and she finds her way into my washroom...

Signed, Ciel Phantomhive (gone to fetch new padlocks... and poison antidotes) 


	5. Square Enix and the Spanish Inquisition

Month 2 16th of June, 2011

Dear Diary,

In merely three hours, I'll be off to a costume ball hosted by Lady Elizabeth. (I believe I mentioned this in my last entry.)

Elizabeth's also informed me that she'd invited all of the residents at, though it pains me to say so, THE TRANCY MANOR.

What made her invite them in the first place? She thought I was having an affair with Alois! F*CKING TRANNY STRIPPER ALOIS!

Irritableness aside, I'll be going to the ball as Demyx, a character from a video game I've become rather addicted to. Perhaps you've heard of it? It's called "Kingdom Hearts." It seems that many of my favorite games have some ties to Square Enix. Seriously, I can't play a video game without Square Enix popping up somewhere along the lines.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, Enix is everywhere...

I feel like I can't even take a piss without Square Enix getting credit for the toilets in my home...

ANYWAY... Since I'm going as Demyx, Sebastian decided to correlate with my costume, and so he is going as Roxas, but who cares?

I best be getting ready for the ball. I've got a kick-ass wig to spike. I'll proceed with this entry post-ball.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ POST-BALL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well... that was... interesting...

First of all, Elizabeth was dressed as a "Sugar Drop Glitteriffic Strawberrylicious Bubblegum Pop Fairy Princess."

... Seriously. That is what she called herself. She made sure to drill it into my head.

My future murderer is a permanent five year old...

On another note, those of the Trancy Manor had on some VERY interesting attire.

First of all, those three strange triplets were dressed as the Spanish Inquisition, which I thought was hilarious and fitting.

Alois's butler... Claude, was it?... did not go in costume. When I inquired him as to why he didn't, he merely said, "Because I do not want to make a fool of myself in public, though you seem to be doing a splendid job of doing so, Earl Phantomhive..."

What a son of a banshee.

Alois's maid, of whom he would not utter the name, did not attend the dance. Apparently, she was hospitalized due to being stabbed in multiple places, including her eyes, by kitchen knives and forks, and, somehow or anoher, a spoon had been thrust into her bicep with such force that she cannot move her left arm from the elbow up to the shoulder.

That poor woman. I must bid her well and send a care package.

Now, for the hilight of the ball.

Alois Trancy.

I didn't know he could look even more like a retard in those ridiculous booty shorts than he already did.

Apparently, he's been reading a popular manga called "Fruits Basket," and had fallen in love with the shota character in the story. (whom he was dressed as)

Litterally.

He showed me photographs (against my will) of his bedroom, of which the wallpaper was not visible under the dozens of life-sized Momiji posters.

There was even a cardboard cuttout.

Scratch that. There was one cuttout of a normal Momiji, and one cuttout of a Momiji that was sort of bent and had lipstick prints all over it, mainly on its lower midsection.

It was very disturbing, thanks.

Because of Alois's constant stalking of me, because I apparently am "the same adorable size as Momiji," and because of Elizabeth having me repeat her impossibly long and stupid costume name, I left the ball at nine o'clock. I'm so glad I did.

I gave Sebastian the rest of the night off. He'd spent the night being attacked by women in big, fluffy ballgowns trying to be fairytale princesses, who were attempting to make Sebastian their Prince Charming(s), for "costume display reasons."

I've made myself some Camomile tea with a shitload of honey and sugar and slipped into my pajamas. I think I'll wrap up this entry, type up the final paragraph of my sales report for this month, and go to sleep.

No, f*ck the report. I'm going to play Kingdom Hearts.

I'm also going to watch some clips about the Spanish Inquisition on YouTube...

With that, I bid you farewell.

Signed,  
>Ciel. (...Square Enix...) <p>


	6. A Cat

Month 2 19th of June, 2011

Dear Diary,

There's a black cat sitting on my windowsil, just inside the window.

She's been there for ten minutes.

Just staring at me.

Watching as I go about my daily routine.

I like her.

She's quiet, and she doesn't question me or get in my way.

I think I'll keep her.

I should inform Sebastian of this as well. He likes cats.

**later on**

I've named the cat.

Her name is Jazz.

She's very affectionate and patient.

At the moment, she's sleeping in Sebastian's lap.

They've taken quite a liking to eachother.

Sebastian was quite supportive of my out-of-the-blue deciding to keep a cat that I found on my windowsil.

He also seemed pleased that we no longer only have a canine-related creature in the manor.

He preffers felines to canines.

Now I know why I keep getting e-mails from the creator of lolcats...

Anyway, I'm going to sit with Jazz for a while before I get back to doing something that actually makes sense.

Signed,  
>Ciel (Cat. I'm a kitty cat. And I dance, dance dance, and I dance, dance dance.) <p>


	7. Servant Poking

Month 2

23rd of June, 2011

Dear Diary,

I rose quite early this morning, even before Sebastian.

Be this as it is, I really don't feel like beginning my work at this time. I'd rather swallow a fish.

So, being bored and too lazy to make myself breakfast, I see it fit to find something to occupy myself with.

Jazz kept me company for a while, but I've grown tired of sitting in the dark doing nothing at all.

...

Maybe I'll just go around and poke my sleeping servants until one of them freaks out.

That sounds like something interesting to do, does it not?

I'll update this entry in about thirty minutes with information on how it went.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~after the poking~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~

!

lol

lmfao

rotfl

rotflshtidmt

And so on and so forth...

I like this game.

I wonder what I should call it.

…

I'll think of a name later.

Anyway, here's what happened while poking my sleeping servants:

**POKING FINNIAN:**

(Finnian sleeps on his face, flat out on his stomach.)

Me - *pokes Finny in the middle of the back*

Finny - *nothing happens*

Me – *pokes Finny in the back of the neck*

Finny - *mumbles something indecipherable and flips onto his back*

Me - *pokes Finny in the stomach*

Finny – TO NARNIAAAA! *waves arms*

**POKING BALDROY:**

(Baldroy sleeps on his right side and snores like a hippopotamus)

Me - *pokes Baldo in the foot*

Baldo - *kicks the bedpost, wakes up, and begins rapid-fire cursing*

Me - *high tails it the $#!^ out of there*

**(I didn't poke Mey Rin. She is female, and it would be improper to enter a room when she is asleep)**

Last but not least, my favorite bit of sleeping servant poking…

**POKING SEBASTIAN:**

(Sebastian sleeps on his back, with his arms stretched out to either side, as if waiting for a hug)

Me - … *stares*

Sebastian - *zzzZZZzzz*

Me - ….

Sebastian - *ZZZzzzZZZ*

Me - …. *pokes nose*

Sebastian - *nose twitches* *zzzZZZzzz*

Me - *sticks finger in his ear*

Sebastian - *mumbles*

Me - ….… **SEBASTIAN! GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP! WHY ISN'T IT ALREADY UP AND IN THE KITCHEN, MAKIN' ME A SAMMICH?**

Sebastian – **AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** *kicks over a lamp, then realizes that I'm what woke him up* T-t-terribly sorry, Y-young Master! I-I'll get right on that! *to the kitchen, away!*

XD Oh, I simply love this new game. I must play it more often.

With a sammich,

Ciel (it's roast beef and cheese :D)

**Author's Note:**

**Ohaithurr :3**

**Any ideas as to what Ciel's servant poking game should be called?**

**I got nothin' **

**Oh God, I love my in-and-out-of-character Ciel ^_^ **

**Sorry to those who prefer the in-character Ciel to my OOC one T.T**

**Please don't hate me for f*cking up his personality for my own amusement.**

**Kthanxbai! **


	8. An Irrevelant Entry

Month 2

30th of June, 2011

**Dear Diary,**

I realize that I haven't recorded anything for approximately a week.

I do apologize for such neglect.

I've been extremely busy with the company during the day, and have been attending some social events in the evenings.

The servants have miraculously been even more useless that they usually are, what with Finnian finding new ways to kill the roses, Mey Rin crashing cabinets left and right, and Baldroy setting everything in sight on fire.

Sebastian's been on his toes for days trying to keep the peace.

He's such a good butler.

Furthermore, at one of the social events I'd attended recently, I managed to make peace with those at the Trancy manor, at least temporarily.

Oh, and Jazz ate a sock.

Gone to the kitchen,

Ciel. (gonna get me some pie)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**WEEEWOO!**

**This entry is SO overdue! T.T**

**I have my swim meet in half an hour, and I just now realized that I haven't written one of these in a week.**

**I'M SORRY!**

**I've actually really been busy this week with auto shop at 6am and swimming at 4pm on Tuesday and Thursday and 6pm on the other three weekdays. That gives me four hours in between to eat, sleep, breathe, and type.**

**Anyway, I KNOW this one kind of sucks, but I HAD to write SOMETHING.**


	9. A Break From Life

Month 3

3rd of July, 2011

**Dear Diary,**

I've finally been given the opportunity to set aside my schedule for a few days.

Seeing as such, I've decided to do a bit of writing.

I've given Sebastian and the Three Stooges (my servants) the day off. It's been pleasantly silent around here today. Jazz and I have been enjoying the laziness of this time.

Be that as it is, I don't really have much to say.

Elizabeth paid me a visit around ten o'clock this morning. She said that I'd been so busy this week that she hadn't had the chance to say hello.

I'm in a fairly cheery mood today (which is quite rare), so I invited her in for tea and a round of chess. She's still not very good, but she is progressively getting the hang of it.

For once, a day with Lizzie was quite pleasant.

I can't remember ever being this relaxed. I think this extended vacation from work is being beneficial to my health.

Or maybe Sebastian spiked my morning tea before he left.

I just know he's hiding tequila somewhere around here…

Sebastian and the others won't be back for a few hours, so I really haven't anything to do.

Maybe I'll take a nap. Or have some French chocolate lava cake.

Yeah, I want that cake. It's really good.

Down the staircase and through the parlor, off to the kitchen I go,

Ciel (sweets = life)

**AUTHOUR'S NOTE:**

**Aaahhhh…**

**I have a five day weekend because of Independence Day or whatever,**

**So I have a chance to write :D**

**Auto shop and swimming are done for the holiday ^_^**

**In case you were wondering, yes, I do often have Ciel's activities reflect my own.**

**It makes the story easier to write about.**

**I'll hopefully be writing these more often, so keep an eye out for new entries!**


	10. Pink Frills and Unicorn Flavored Glitter

Month 2

6th of July, 2011

**Dear Diary,**

My weekend of blissful idleness has come to a regretful close.

Today was my last day to do absolutely nothing, and I couldn't even do THAT.

I was woken at about ten this morning, which was two and a half hours before I'd planned, by Sebastian knocking on my door and entering my room to inform me that Elizabeth had show up to invite me to a day out on the town.

Of course, being the proper, kind gentleman I am, I sat up, chucked a pillow at Sebastian's head and told him where to shove it.

Elizabeth picks simply the best of times to pay me visits, doesn't she?

Nonetheless, I did drag myself from the warmth and comfort of my bed and stuffed myself into some presentable clothing.

I stepped through the door, and was greeted by Jazz.

That was probably the highlight of my entire day.

Halfway down the stairwell, I slipped on something pink and made of silk and ended up tumbling head-over-heels the rest of the way down. It turned out to be a cat sweater that Jazz managed to free herself from.

Elizabeth had only been here ten minutes, and she already had poor Finnian in a bonnet and dressing gown. He was running in a zigzag line back and forth across the room, hoping to throw the corset-wielding Elizabeth off his trail.

As soon as she saw me, Lizzy dropped her corset, and ran straight at me, screaming my name in that usual way she does. You know, the voice that can break glass because of its sheer squeakiness.

If she hadn't let go of me of her own accord, I'd be willing to bet that the strength of Sebastian and Baldroy _combined _wouldn't have been enough to pry Lizzy off of me.

She has quite the death grip.

After an hour of tea and conversation, we set out for our day of doing things that I didn't want to do.

Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ. Do ALL women shop this much?

All I can recall of the first half and final quarter of the day is a blur boutique after designer's shop after room full of pink and fluffy and flowery and girl.

I remember a flurry of pink ruffles here, a fistful of glitter and unicorn-scented soap there, and Lizzy's happy squealing and "Ooooooh! How pretty! 3"-ing all day.

The third quarter of the day, which was not filled with pink and happy, was when we stopped to have a late lunch at a seafood restaurant around two o'clock.

This was the least distressing part of our outing, seeing as Lizzy didn't drag me around to random places for a few hours.

Lizzy thankfully got tired around six o'clock. I accompanied her back home, and then returned home myself.

It's been an hour since all that.

I think I have glitter in my ear.

This has not been a very pleasant day for me.

I'm going to go and ask Sebastian where he keeps his tequila.

With liquor,

Ciel.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Bleahurgbhlurg :(**

**Yesterday was my last day off, and today I just had to get up early for auto shop because there is no swimming on Tuesdays, but I have both for the rest of the week T.T**

**I actually wrote all of this on Tuesday, and uploaded it Wednesday because I'm just too freaking tired to bother uploading it.**

**Deal with it.**

**I said I'd do some more frequent uploads on my last installment.**

**I did not lie :3**

**In all honest, the only things preventing me from uploading more often are:**

**My packed schedule**

**Lack of ideas**

**Natural laziness ^_^;**

**Hope this'll tie you all over until I write something else XD**

****psst, if you like my fanfic, write a comment/review thingy. I like hearing what you have to say :D****


	11. Butler Bothering

**Month 3**

26th of July, 2011

**Dear Diary,**

I've created another game.

While Servant Poking is quite entertaining, I can only do it in the middle of the night, when everyone is out cold.

This new game can be played at any hour of the day.

I've decided to call it Butler Bothering.

Basically, I'll either stalk Sebastian from behind things and jump out at him, instigating him having a miniature heart attack, or I'll follow him around and watch him do whatever it is he's doing over his shoulder while saying creepy things into his ear until he tells me to go away.

It's so much fun.

Here are some examples as to how this game plays out:

**While hiding beneath the staircase:**

**Sebastian - ***walking past staircase, carrying a basin of water in which to clean the cat*

**Me - ***jumps out in front of him and shouts a loud string of nonsense sounds* Bleaughblurgh!

**Sebastian - ***nearly drops basin* BWUGAAAAAAAAAAH! *drops basin and fwails arms* WHAT THE HELL WA…..Oh…hello, Young Master… *stress at me as if I were from another planet*

**Me - -_-**…..** XD XD XD XD XD XD XD**

**Sebastian - ** _ ….. *picks up the basin and goes to get a towel*

**While watching him prepare lunch:**

**Sebastian - ***slicing beef*

**Me - ***rests my head on his shoulder and watches*

**Sebastian - ***glances at me, raises an eyebrow, then shakes head and continues slicing*

**Me - ***puts on creeper smile*

**Sebastian - ***obviously becoming disturbed, but tried to ignore me*

**Me - ***takes off eye patch and whispers in his ear* If you give me flesh, I will do your bidding *7*

**Sebastian – **O_O …. *puts down knife and turns to me* Young Master, have you gotten into the safe that holds my tequila?...again?….

**Me - ***stalker laugh* Nooooooo….. but you left your Brandy out in the open.

**Sebastian – **Wh-what? I thought I locked that in the liquor safe as well? Goodness, it's only been two weeks and I already need to change the combination again…

**Me - ***quietly creeper giggling in his ear until he walks away, which only takes about another six seconds*

This game. I quite like this game. This game is fun.

Perhaps I'll invite Alois over this week to play this game with me.

I'm sure he'd enjoy it. I've watched him stare at Claude while he slept for nearly an hour once when I stayed at his manor overnight.

It was somewhat disturbing…

Oh well. I've got some reports to write up and some paychecks to sign.

Maybe I'll think of some more ways to bother my butler once I finish those tasks.

I've always enjoyed bothering (that is to be read as "**disturbing**") people by acting in ways they wouldn't expect me to.

I love being confusing.

-Ciel.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Heyyy gaizzz ^_^**

**Yes, yes. I haven't written one of these in forever.**

**DON'T KILL MEE! *uses Finny as a human shield* (Sorreh, Finny.)**

**I just haven't had any ideas in a while.**

**I also haven't had the attention span to sit down and think about what to write.**

**(By the way, did you catch the reference to "The Fabulous Diary of Alois Trancy?")**

**Anywho, I probably would have uploaded an entry on the 17****th**** like I'd planned to, but I was distracted by the ordering of my L Lawliet wig and the making of my L/Kira handcuffs.**

**(I just used some Chuck E. Cheese cuffs and found a random five foot broken chain necklace in my room and bent the links to attach the chain to the cuffs XD)**

**I'm going to NY Comic Con with my friends in October, and we're going as Death Note characters. (Is anyone else going to the con? PM me)**

**So sorry for the wait (but no one cares if I'm sorry as long as they get an upload XD) and let's hope I come up with more ideas soon.**

**P.S.: If you guys have any ideas for new entries, please feel free to send me PM's.**

**Okay. I'm done typing now.**

**Go do something productive rather than reading this failfiction! XD**


	12. Gaming Galore

**Month 4**

7th of August, 2011

**Dear Diary,**

I'm in the process of testing some video games and gaming consoles which, if I see them to be fit, shall be put on the market in October.

I've played and completed three out of five of the games and both of the consoles in the past two days.

So far, I've been through_ Call of Duty: World at War_, _Assassin's Creed_, and _Rayman Raving Rabbids. _The second game required a console we've named the "XBOX" and the first and third required a more technologically advanced console called the "Wii."

The final two games I need to get through are both for the "Wii."

One is called "Trauma Team," and the other "Link's Crossbow Training."

I think I'll test "Trauma Team" next, seeing as I'm familiar enough with murder cases.

So far, I rather like the new games. Especially "Rayman Raving Rabbids."

Since the game has a multiplayer mode, and I need to assess all aspects of the game, I invited Sebastian to play a few rounds with me.

He's rather good at video games. I really had never considered the idea that he might like them as well.

Speak of the Devil; Sebastian has just arrived with my midday meal.

Perhaps I can get him to play a few more rounds of "Rayman Raving Rabbids" with me before I get around to testing the remaining two games.

Games are a profession,

Ciel.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Did anyone catch the "Speak of the DEVIL" pun the first time 'round? :3**

**(For those who only watch the anime, Sebby is a devil in the manga.)**

****Yesterday my birthday cake had my L drawing on it completely in chocolate O,..,O****

**Yes. The Funtom Toy Company created CoD XD**

**Frankly, I'd like a Wii game where I can play chess :)**

**I actually wrote about these video games because:**

**A) I just got Assassin's Creed, Halo 3, and a Naruto game and own all the Rabbids games**

**B) I've played all of the other games**

**C) I love games XD**

**I think Ciel is a tad more in-character in this entry. That ought to please some of you readers.**

**I'm noticing just as I finish writing this entry that I've been putting the current year where the date should be and not Ciel's time period. OTL|||**

**Oh well. We can just say that that's just there to tell you the day I wrote it, and that Ciel doesn't put dates on his entry.**

**Everyone cool with that? Good.**

**Lookit my drawings here!:**

**www.12haruhi34/deviantart**

**I typed that out, and was not looking at the link for reference, and therefore son't know if it's accurate.**

**If it isn't, just look me up. 12Haruhi34**

**Because I draw. And will hopefully have cosplay photos up before the end of September.**

**If you've read ANY part of my fan fiction, leave me a review. **

**It makes my day whenever I get a new review to read :3**

**Kthanxbai! :)**


	13. Hobbies

**Month…6?**

8th of October, Year 2011

_Dear Diary,_

It's been far too long.

I've been so wrapped up with official business that I could not find the time for idle writing. I hardly had time to breathe in between written reports and lessons.

Today I woke up rather exhausted, having planned on getting a jump on next month's tasks, since I'd completed all that needed to be done at present.

Then I had some tea and read over some reports and went, "Fuck this. Sebastian, have all of the telephones disconnected and contact all of my associates and tell them that we're dealing with something very important for Her Majesty. We're going on vacation."

And so, due to my lack of entries and my newfound abundance of free time, I've decided to write as much as I could possibly think to of things that have happened while I've been away.

First of all, I declared my little leave of absence yesterday. So far it hasn't been very pleasant, but at least it's been better than sitting in a wooden chair for six hours at a time feeling your hand cramp up around your pen and your ass being flattened.

Yesterday, Lizzie had decided to pay me a visit once Sebastian had informed her that I was taking some time off under the impression that I'd be happy to see her.

She arrived around noon, so Sebastian prepared us a luncheon of grilled Rosemary chicken, sautéed asparagus, and mashed garlic potatoes.

While eating, Lizzy asked me what I planned to do during my little retreat.

I told her I was deciding between doing absolutely nothing and sleeping for the entire week.

And with that, she decided I needed a hobby.

Though she knows I have a passion for chess and other games, she declared that such pastimes were, according to her, "totally booooooooring! You can't interact with people at all by playing solitary gaaaaaaames! Even chess won't do! You sit here in silence and don't even look at your opponent! You need to do something that will help you make friends!"

And with that, she dragged me by my ear to a random park and somehow magically produced croquet balls, hoops, and mallets.

It was quite funny, really.

I've never been even remotely decent with croquet, so I ended up smacking Sebastian in the shins on the backswing with my mallet approximately twelve times.

On the ninth time, I could have sworn he uttered something under his breath that sounded strangely like "Trucking pass mole."

Luckily, Lizzy is even worse at the game than I.

The best shot she's made at hitting a ball was when the mallet slipped from her grasp and launched itself away from her, hitting Sebastian directly in the groin.

His was quite funny due to the fact that he made no facial expression, but rather released the faintest of grunts and fell face-first to the ground, not bothering to move his joints in the slightest to break his fall.

He looked as if he were a plank of wood being dropped.

After this little incident, Lizzy tried me on several other things she considered to be suitable hobbies: Badminton, which ended with Sebastian taking a birdie to the eye; Ice skating, which ended with six small children getting under Sebastian's feet so that he fell onto his back; and finally painting, which ended with Sebastian dyed all of the colors of the rainbow and then some.

It was generally not a good day for Sebastian.

If I didn't know him personally I'd have labeled him as emotionally disturbed and assumed he'd go off to cry in a corner and cut himself after the ordeal or something.

In the end, Lizzy decided that I had absolutely no knack for anything but what I already did and returned to her own living place.

As an apology of sorts, I have allowed Sebastian to play with Jazz for the rest of today and tomorrow whenever he so desires, as long as he has no immediate task to handle.

I'm glad this entry turned out to be so long. It's been so long since I've written that this little diary seemed to be empty when I picked it up.

Hopefully, I'll be able to write at least once more before my vacation time expires.

And hopefully, Lizzy won't come up with any more new hobbies to test on me…

Who cares about hobbies? I have money.

-Ciel

**OH HOHOHOHON~**

**Guess who's not dead? ;D**

**I can't BLIEVE I've neglected my baby for two months.**

**Damn you, new crazy high school environment! *shakes fist at the sky***

**Yup, I started high school.**

**Freshman power! :D**

**Anyway, I feel bad about not writing. I've seen some comments saying things like that this fanfic makes their day, and now I feel guilty because I haven't given anyone anything new to smile about D:**

**I hope this one wasn't too long, boring, or pointless.**

**I just wanted to write something of considerable length.**

**Did you pick up on any of the little references? ;D**

**By the way, thank you to The Teenage Cynic for leaving me a comment suggesting the hobby idea. I put it to good use, wouldn't you agree? :D**

**I'm thinking about writing a yaoi fanfic about Jace and Alec from a novel series called City of Bones.**

**If Alec were real and interested in girls as well, he'd be my property XD**

**Anywho, I'm alive, here's an entry, don't murder me in my sleep with sporks, aaaaaand Alec is sexaaay ;D XD**


	14. How Civilized

**Month 6**

**28th of October, 2011**

_Dear Diary,_

Urgh. This month has been quite the hellhole for me.

I've been a cushion of sorts for these enormous last-minute toy and confectionary projects to make and sell by All Hallows Eve to be dropped upon.

I've been up to Sebastian's eyeballs in paperwork that needs to be filled out and prototypes that need to be tested.

Luckily for me, I have the uncanny ability to tell whether a product will sell or not upon first glance (or so I've told my subordinates), and was able to reject the final twenty-four prototypes and forty-eight review papers that would have accompanied the prototypes without having so much as to touch them.

I had hoped the week I took off from my duties would have given the employees of my company time to decide which products would sell or not on their own, but apparently the only one of my hired workers that doesn't keep his brain under his bed when he goes to do his duties with a skull full of bread pudding is Sebastian.

And bread pudding is bloody disgusting.

I've only just completed all of my business for the past few weeks an hour ago. I'd originally planned to supp around this time, and then possibly invite Sebastian to play a game of chess to clear my head, but I felt the urge to bitch about my life to something or someone for a little while, so I decided to write a new entry.

Huh. Sebastian was right. I do bitch about things quite a bit.

I should consider listening to what he says more often…

Dear Lord, I'm sore. My hand aches from writing, my back is sore from trying to sit straight while writing and eventually hunching over my desk so that my nose nearly touched the papers I had written, and most of all my ass hurts from expanding the amount of time I sit in that accursed wooden chair every day from six or seven hours to twelve to fourteen hours.

I think my rear has gone flatter that it was before.

Asy67u]8ix2[./

Gah! Remind me not to blink when I haven't slept in two days in attempts to complete everything I need to do in one go. If I do, I pass out. Hence the random array of letters, numbers, and symbols above.

Good God, I can't believe it's only six o'clock. The winter sky is so dark I would have guessed it to be nine, if not later.

Every fiber of my being is on edge due to the excessive amounts of caffeine I've been ingesting over the past month or so to keep myself awake in order to work.

Eventually my work became so inexplicably dull that my caffeine overload overtook my brain and caused me to play a quick round of Butler Bothering this past Tuesday.

At that point the sugar and carbohydrates had taken an effect that completely blocked out the portion of my brain that controlled my common sense and judgment.

And so, I attacked Sebastian with two (im)practical jokes that, by my normal standards, (or any standards,) could be considered ludicrous.

**First Impractical Joke:**

**(Sebastian was preparing lunch at the time)**

**Me - ***climbs up onto Sebastian's back*

**Sebastian - ***gives me a sidelong glance, raises an eyebrow, then returns to work*

**Me - ***bites Sebastian's neck, sliding my tongue over his skin that was reachable between my upper and lower rows of teeth*

**Sebastian – **Geh! *jumps and shudders*

**Me - ***jumps down* ! XD XD XD XD XD

**Sebastian – **O_O …. *slowly returns to preparing lunch*

**Second Impractical Joke:**

**(Sebastian was trimming the rose bushes this time)**

**Me - ***wearing Grell costume I obtained from William (don't ask), hiding in the bush that Sebastian was about to begin trimming*

**Sebastian - **^_^ *about to trim the bush I was in*

**Me - ***flings self out of the bush at Sebastian* SEBASTIAN DAAAAAAARLIIINNGGG! 3 *7*

**Sebastian – **HOLY SHIT! *literally jumps two feet into the air and runs the opposite way. Then realizes that Grell isn't so short, and turns around slowly* o_o….O_o…..O_O…

**Me - ** *a grin that comes as close to a pedophile grin as a thirteen-year-old can get*

**Sebastian – **o_e….. *startlingly calm smile* :) … *returns to the house, closes the door, and begins listing every curse word known to mankind in alphabetical order at the top of his lungs*

**Me - ***on the ground with laughter*

Maybe not some of my more brilliant moments, but damn it, it was deliciously entertaining.

Terribly civilized, am I not?

I must play my little games more often. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy them.

I guess now I can tell Lizzy that scaring the living daylights out of my servants is my hobby.

-Ciel

= = = = = = = = = = = …= = = = = = = = = = …= = = = == = = = = = = =

**AUTHOR'S NOOOOOTE:**

**Well hay thur :D**

**So I'm going to try to write at least one diary entry every month. If I can manage more, then I sure as hell will write more than that.**

**I didn't write another entry sooner because I was busy being bombarded with homework and going to New York Comic Com/Anime Fest.**

**Did anyone else go to that convention? IT KICKED ASS.**

**Some of the photos will be on my deviantART (my username there is 12Haruhi34), and I'll soon have a slideshow of all of the pictures up on my YouTube (my username there is OtakuCentral101).**

**I really hope you all appreciate this entry. It took me two hours of sitting on my bed having to use the bathroom while my feet freeze off to type this, due to the fact that I always watch World's Dumbest while I type these entries, and to the fact that I tend to just write whatever the hell comes to mind when I want to write an entry.**

**Also, did you notice that I used the term All Hallows Eve instead of Halloween?**

**I thought it sounded cool. Plus, I've been put through Catechism classes since second grade by my mother's whim, so I know the Christian holiday terms for things.**

**I think you should all know that I type with two fingers. I was never good at typing without looking at the keyboard XD I'm just like my dad. (He works on and with computers for a living, being an ethnical hacker, and he also types with two fingers)**

**Also, I included a bit of something that looks like yaoi before you read it all the way through. You like, fangirls? I certainly enjoyed writing it. ;D I've never written anything involving love, and certainly not yaoi, so I wanted to test it out a bit to see how well I could do and how far I could take yaoi with Ciel XD**

**Oh, and apparently William has a Grell costume. Maybe he has it because Grell has a William costume just like William has a Grell costume and they dressed up as each other for Halloween. XD**

**So….yeah…**

**Sorry this note was so damn long DX**

**I just miss writing these entries, and therefore I want to talk to you, all five of my readers XD**

**Oh, before I forget: Why DO you read my fan fiction? And how did you find out about it? What were your first impressions? Did you like this fan fiction enough that you told your friends or family about it? What were THEIR first impressions? Where were you on the day of today and are you familiar with THIS PEANUT? *whips out peanut in a baaaaaag***

**Really, I want to hear about this stuff from you people. I'm curious.**

**Also, leave any ideas you have for new entries. I just know I'm gonna run out of ideas one day, and I'll end up not writing for months, and I'll end up being pissed off with myself for not updating.**

**And with that, I draw my horrendously long note to a close in hopes that it didn't take up too much of your time if you read it.**

**Again, sorry it's so long. I just miss writing XD**

**Kthanxbai! ^_^**


	15. Happy Halloween

**Month 6**

**31st of October, 2011**

_Dear Diary,_

Happy Halloween.

How are you this All Hallows Eve?

I, for one, am flamboyantly joyful.

I spent nearly all of Mischief Night, which was Sunday, planning a special prank for each one of my servants, which I pulled on them today.

I'll spare myself the effort of writing a paragraph to build suspense and skip right along to the listing of the pranks.

**Finny's Prank:**

**(This one was executed at around 1:45 A.M. while Finny was asleep)**

**Finny's Prank:**

**(This was done at around 1:45 A.M.)**

**Me - ***dressed in a four foot long false white beard and mustache, wearing a blue and white striped bathrobe and holding my cane, poking Finny in the face with said cane*

**Finny – **Merrrrrr *swats at the cane in his sleep, then opens eyes long enough to see me while I speak to him.*

**Me - ***creepy voice* PSSSSSSSSSSST. I am the Christmas Hobbit of Thanksgiving Candy Eeeeggggggggsssss. Trade your soul to me for a skull full of bread pudding?

**Finny – **WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DON'T WANT BREAD PUDDING WHERE MY BRAIN SHOULD BEEEE! *cowers beneath bed*

**Me - ***trying not to laugh, beating him (gently) with my cane from the gap between the bed and the floor*

**Finny – WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!** **WHAT'S GOING OOOONNNNNNN?**

**Me - ***stops hitting Finny* May the Schwartz be with you! *runs out of the room*

**Mey-Rin's Prank:**

**(She was hanging the laundry to dry)**

**Me - ***wearing Sebastian's tailcoat and a wig made by my company, standing behind some of the sheets that had already been hung*

**Mey Rin - ***turns her back on the sheet I'm behind to pick up the linen basket in order to move it closer to the laundry line that I am by.*

**Me - ***jumps out behind her and starts scream-singing at her:* I LIKE A BOY IN UNIFORM! SCHOOL UNIFORM!

**Mey Rin – **WAAAAAAAAAAAH! *falls over into the clothesline, which snaps under the weight of her and the linen basket.* M-m-m-mister Sebastian! Wh-what are you going on abo- *realizes Sebastian is not so short* O_O….. *sits there, simply staring at me as I walk back to the manor house*

**Me - ***walking to the manor house* !

**Baldroy's Prank:**

**(He was in the kitchen mashing potatoes with some sort of power tool resembling a nail gun at the time)**

**Me - ***I'd gone to the kitchen earlier today and placed a wooden armchair coated in glue at the table* Baldo, what on earth is that? A new torture instrument sent from your home, I'll assume?

**Baldo – **Yessiree! Ain't she beau'iful? *holds up his new toy for me to see*

**Me – **So what exactly is it? It doesn't seem to be mashing the potatoes very effectively…

**Baldo – **I dunno what it is. That's half the fun! I jus' use the stuff I get from back home on whatever it is I'm doin' at the time an' see what happens! I'm still not sure what this'n does. I've been standin' here for an hour tryin' to mash these potatoes, but the thing just vibrates a lil' when I pull the trigger.

**Me – **An hour? Surely you must be tired? Why not sit a while? Sebastian can take care of the potatoes.

**Baldo – **Whoa, seriously? Yer offerin' me a break? All right then! I'll take you up on that offer!

**Me - ***taps the non-sticky back of the gluey chair with my hand* Do have a seat then, Baldo.

**Baldo - ***grinning stupidly while pulling out the chair. Sits down, putting arms on the rests and legs against the front legs of the chair, so that now he can't move his legs or arms along with the rest of him*

**Me – **Great. Now try not to move about too much while I make you look like Lizzie. *takes Lizzie's forgotten make-up box out of the pantry*

**Baldo – **Wait wh- *tries to move* WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE CHAIR?

**Me – **Calm down, you can un-stick yourself later. Now close your eye unless you want the eyeliner pencil to go into your pupil.

==Five Minutes Later==

**(Baldo now has on heavy makeup. Purple eye shadow, black eyeliner, mascara, red blush, red lipstick, and a positive shitton of glitter)**

**Me - ***snaps a picture and walks away* HHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Baldo - ** 'EY! CAN'T I GET OUTTA THIS DAMN CHAIR NOW? *struggles against the glue with no effect*

**Sebastian's Prank:**

**(9:00 PM, Sebastian was sitting in the parlor with Jazz, as he had completed all of his duties for the day.)**

**Me - ***dressed in a schoolgirl costume and the wig I used when infiltrating the Viscount's ball* *peeks through a crack in the door* Hey, Sebastian?

**Sebastian - ***looks up* Good evening, Young Master. *stands up and bows.* Is there something you need?

**Me – **Yeah. *opens the door all the way* Were you the one who swapped out all of my clothes for these short skirts and the like? I'm not complaining, I do look rather good, *mutters *- and I know YOU don't mind me being dressed like this, but what happened to my NORMAL clothes?

**Sebastian – **O_O ….. Uh…..ah…I uh…wh-… O_O

**Me – **Oh well. I guess it's fine. I was going to restock my wardrobe with women's clothing anyhow. I quite like it. Plus, most men aren't attracted to other men, so this could suit another purpose as well.

**Sebastian – **O_O….. M-Master, are you feeling alright?

**Me – **Never better! Happy as a lark! Why? Do you think there's something wrong with me? *feigning shyness/sadness, my face turns red while every fiber of my being tries not to burst out laughing, which only adds to the effect*

**Sebastian – **N-no, of course not! You can do whatever pleases you, sir. *I believe he was debating weather or not to come forward at this time. He seemed to think it a good idea seeing that he walked over to me and knelt so that he was at my eye level*

**Me – **R-really, Sebastian? Surely you think it strange?

**Sebastian – **Well, maybe a bit…..but it's your own decision. I cannot tell you otherwise. No matter *wipes Lizzie's make-up off of my left eye* how odd the decision.

**Me - ** SEBASTIAAAAN! *glomp of epic proportions, secretly slipping a mouse down the back of Sebastian's pants*

**Sebastian – **All right, Young Master. I believe it is time for y- BBBWWWUUUAAAAHHHHH! *now running about the room, slapping at his rear and legs, trying to rid his trousers of the mouse*

**Me – **PDFT ! *literally on the ground with laughter* Oh, God! I can't believe how simple that was! Ha-ha!

**Sebastian - ***rid of the mouse* O_O Y-young Master? You mean to say…that was an _act?_ *blood rises to his face, but he certainly s not angry*

**Me – **Of course, you bloody fool! Ha-ha! I don't want to feign female and I certainly am not of _that_ sexual orientation, as you can tell by my being engaged to a woman. Well *takes off wig*, it's been nice screwing with you. I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning. Goodnight! *walks to bedroom, still laughing to myself*

Oh, what fun was had.

-Ciel.

===== ….. ===== ….. =====. ===== .;;;;;======/=====;..ekiop[;'/pik0go1erfqcsa

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Yes, yeah, Halloween was yesterday.**

**I wrote the first part of this yesterday and the second today, so HA.**

**I really couldn't think of what to write for Sebby's prank, so I let my weird take over and pulled that out of it XD**

**I stayed up really friggin' late to write/upload this so BE THANKFUL DAMNIT!**

**I am well aware that Sebby's dare s unusually weird. But it WAS Halloween when Ciel did this, so I had to have him do something absolutely opposite of how he usually is. Hence the gay tranny moment.**

**Also, I have nothing against transvestites, gays, homosexual people, or anything like that. Neither does Ciel. He just isn't into wearing women's clothing or being sexually involved with men. 'Kay? Hopefully this didn't offend anyone. It sire wasn't supposed to.**

**Also, if this one came off as really freaking bizarre, I'd like you to know that I'm not exactly in the best mental state as I write the final three quarters of the story and the author's note. **

**I'm VERY tired, and am coming down off of a sugar high.**

**So please forgive all of the weird found in this entry. God knows there's plenty of it.**

**Well I'm tired. **

**G'night, everybody.**


	16. Sugar High

**Month 7**

**24th of November, 2011**

_Dear Diary,_

The weather's getting colder, as is expected.

I'm eating a sandwich.

Work sucks like bloody hell.

Huh. Now that I sit down to write, I really can't think of anything to base this entry on.

I'd intended to write something with an actual point today, but there's barely anything even mildly interesting going on this month.

I suppose the most exciting thing I've done this fabulous November is attend one of my fiancée's many galas, at which one of the guests came in horrendously drunk and decided he'd take a swim in the punch bowl.

…

Speak of the Devil, Sebastian's just informed me that Lizzie has taken it upon herself to visit me when I want absolutely nothing to do with her at the time. I'd better go downstairs to see what she wants.

Maybe if I stuff some food in that large mouth of hers and play a quick round of chess, she'll leave.

====== =======many hours later===== =======

…

Well, that was…

…uhh…

Just….

No.

Just. No.

Lizzie was on quite the sugar high.

As it turns out, she'd eaten nothing but sweets for the past few days.

Only God knows why she'd do that or why her family would LET her do that, knowing that she's hyper and stupid enough without sugar…

When I first saw her, my first impression was that she was drunk.

She slurred when she spoke, her eyes were heavily lidded, and she hiccupped after every few words.

I was reluctant to give her tea in fear of her rising from her sugar hangover, but being the gentleman I am, I had Sebastian make us something with as little sugar as possible.

But of course, even such a small sprinkling of the sweet stuff lit Lizzie up and shot her off like a firework.

Immediately after the first sip, she had the energy of a puppy playing in the snow for the first time.

I believe that the sudden burst of adrenaline may have also clouded her mind a bit because she began spouting off ridiculous conspiracies about how killing the entire human race would benefit the Earth, and how faeries are the reason we have window panes, and about some ridiculous creature called "Flying Mint Bunny".

I was somewhat fearing for my life.

After three hours of that, Lizzie finally came down from her place high in the sky and fell asleep half way through a sentence explaining to me the dangers of man-eating cheese wheels.

I had Sebastian put her back into her carriage and send her home immediately afterwards.

I suppose I'll go tell Sebastian to make me something with chocolate and cream oozing out of it now.

-Ciel.

-=i0-9087643780 w9ihjnmc_+-u79837~+_)~_+~+_~_)+~!)()&^~%$%

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

**Ciel doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, I've decided. I was too lazy to write about the feast making process, but I'll do that fro the Christmas one.**

**Do the British celebrate Thanksgiving? I'm not sure if they do. I don't think they do considering why it's celebrated. Somebody let me know, okay?**

**Also, can you tell that I wrote this one while being fully awake and in the daytime instead of in the middle of the night on a sugar high? **

**Yeah, it's not as good as the ones I usually write, but I had to do SOMETHING. **

**So sorry bou' that.**

**Swim team started up, so now I have even less time than I had before.**

**I go to school at 7:00 am, which finishes at 2:35, then I have swim practice until 5, then I have homework and sleep. If I go on the computer, it's usually anywhere between 7 and 9, depending on how tired I am. **

**So I'm really bloody fucking pressed for time.**

**Also, whenever I'm on the computer nowadays, I'm usually re-watching Hetalia (my all time favorite anime/current obsession), reading yaoi fanfictions (;D), or watching/making YouTube videos.**

**Oh, that reminds me.**

**I've got up a video on YouTube with the pix and videos I took at NYAF/NYCC :D**

**Here's a link to my channel:**

**.com/user/OtakuCentral101?feature=mhee**

**Also, here's the link to my deviantART, just for the hellovit.**

**.com/**

**Oh yeah, before I forget:**

**I'm writing this little part now as a reminder to myself that I need to ask Alex about the wig for her skit for her film class. And I also need to ask when she wants me to come over to record it/what a few more of the character's details are. She wants me to be one of the male characters in it, and since I already cosplay a guy it doesn't really make any difference to me. At least I get to portray a character I already act like normally XD**

**Okay, so that's about it.**

**Sorry for the sucky entry and the long Author's Note, check out the video and cosplay pix at the links, aaaaaannnnndddddd HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

**May your day be filled with gravy :D**

**Kthanksbai!**


	17. Christmas Poking

Month...9? Oh God, it's been two months?

4th of January, 2012

Dear Diary,

Ah, so, it's been a month since I've even bothered to think about writing in this diary.

There's been far too much going on this season, what with last-minute recalls and paperwork and a positive shitton of shitty ideas for shitty toys that my shitty underlings came up with that were absolutely shitty.

Yeah. Work this season was shitty.

Last week I was released from the shackles of paperwork and sales numbers and given time off for the holliday.

Well, more like I left everything for my frantic and terrified underlings to deal with so I wouldn't have to do anything.

That being said, I had planned on writing at least two entries within that free time, but alas, I slept for ten to nineteen hours of the day, and ate, read, and played videogames for the remaining five to fourteen hours.

Truth be told, the only reason I hadn't lapsed into a week-long hibernation was because Sebastian continued waking me up, insisting that I ingest some food and breathe the air that wasn't being filtered through my pillow and sheets first.

In fact, I'd planned on writing an entry on Christmas, but I fell asleep, and three hours later I began smelling things being cooked downstairs and went to pester Sebastian while he cooked.

I do believe I'll explain how the pestering went now:

SEBASTIAN - *mashing potatoes*  
>ME - *pokes Sebastian in the side repeatedly*<br>SEBASTIAN - ...-_- Yes, Young Master?  
>ME - *poke poke poke*<br>SEBASTIAN - -_- ...Young Master, if you're bored, perhaps you'll wish to take a bath before supper? Or read a bit of Poe?  
>ME - **<br>SEBASTIAN - -_- ... *ignores my poking him, and continues mashing potatoes*  
>ME - *I grab the bowl of mashed potatoes and run to my bedchamber*<br>SEBASTIAN - -_- ... *gets another bowl and more potatoes, grumbling about pre-teenage hormones*

What surprises me was that he didn't even bother to attempt to stop me from eating that entire bowl of mushy, starchy goodness.

Maybe he's at his rope's end, and I've finally worn him down to the point of cracking under the surpressed emotions?

I doubt it, but I can always hope.

Later on that day, I walked up behind Mey Rin whilst she was sertting the table and quite calmly and blatantly said "Boo."

She nearly leapt out of her skin, breaking many things in the process.

So now, here I sit, typing aimlessly while eating ome sort of chocolate pastry with cream and strawberries on top, and chocolate sauce pouring out.

I'm quite content in doing this, and do believe I'll continue eathing while playing Kingdom Hearts.

That's all for now, I suppose.

-Ciel.

awsedrftghujk~~~~~~~~~!)))))))))))*********#^%$ERT^#&*()_GYhjbnMWPZ'

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
>Hooray for using my fanfiction to procrastinate on Biology homework! :D Sooo...it's been a month since I was able to write DX As Ciel mentioned, he (meaning I) had a week off from the usual shit that needed to be done.<br>I used this freedom week wisely and basically slept all day, stayed up most of the night, then went back to bed.  
>Don't kill me for not uploading, I was busy catching up on my sleep and reading PruCan yaoi T.T I've spiraled into a pit of Hetalia-based obsession as of late.<br>I now cosplay Canada and England.  
>(check out my deviant ART for some shots :P. My username is 12Haruhi34)<br>I really tried to write the best I possibly could, being well-rested as I now have become.  
>So, I got a huge bowl of ice cream and covered it in marshmallow fluff.<br>It just made me sleepy, which kind of defeated the purpose, and confused me as to why I wasn't bouncing off the walls with sugary jitteriness.  
>It was good, though. But the fluff hardened with the cold of the ice cream.<br>It was 0 fucking degrees today, and we still haven't had snow since the beginning of October when it snowed when it was 65 degrees.  
>I hate the weather.<br>I don't mind the extreme cold, as long as there's no wind, but really.  
>ZERO degrees must always equal snow.<br>ALWAYS. :U Oh well. No snow days for me. D:  
>The swimming season is kicking my ass.<br>I absolutely LOATHE the fact that we have to swim in the winter. Why can't swimming be a spring sport?  
>When we finish practice, we have to leave the school building still very wet, resulting in me being extremely cold litterally until the next day, right before we have to swim again.<br>Hatehatehatehatehate.  
>In a nutshell, I wrote this because I was guilty about forgetting to write one last month, I needed a form of procrastination, and I had to re-download all the entries to my computer because I recently wiped my laptop's memory, and I like having my files on-hand.<br>Also, none of the fonts are fancy because I haven't re-downloaded Microsoft Word to my laptop, and am writing al this in a normal text document.  
>I think I'll put Alois into my next entry.<br>NOW, BACK TO THE READING OF YAOI :D 


	18. A Strange Dream,or a Horrible Nightmare?

**Month 11 **D:

22nd of March, 2010

_Dear Diary,_

Spare me the formalities (the formalities being "Sorry for not writing blah bleh bluh.") and allow ne to get right on with the point of this entry.

I had this god awful nightmare last night, and I feel the need to record it.

It began with me, eating a bowl of strawberry jam with a ladle, and drinking a large tankard of extremely strong blackberry brandy in my bathroom on the third floor of my manor.

After approximately twenty minutes of that, that damned Trancy torched down the door with a flamethrower and stood there grinning for the next seven minutes, watching me as I went about my business.

Then he removed the yellow trench coat he was wearing to reveal no shirt, suspenders, garters, fishnets, and red pumps.

A sparkly black top hat then materialized out of nowhere and he placed it on his head, a metal pole descending from my ceiling as if on cue, only for Alois to begin a very… inappropriate display upon it.

Then Sebastian flew through the window using blue jay wings that had sprouted from his ears and used the flamethrower on the ground to disintegrate the queer little hooker.

Sebastian was closely followed by a flock of Grells, one for each color of the rainbow and then some, all in wedding dresses, calling for Sebastian to come back to the chapel where they were to be wed.

Sebastian then proceeded to pimp slap each of the multi-colored Grells, save the red one, which he gladly accompanied to the chapel.

All the while I was eating my jam.

When I woke up, there was a banana peel over my eyes, and my foot was coated in whipped cream, the bottle to which I held in my left hand.

In my right hand was a small bottle of tequila, with Sebastian's name written on it.

Strong stuff he has in that safe. Stroooooong stuff…

I will have this headache for ever and ever.

Ciel.

**Waersetdrftg9p3ut8592y3orhf#$%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*(++++++++++++**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!:**

I so wish animated gifs could be put on word documents. I'd have one in this if I could.

I completely forgot to write. It may have something to do with all the robotics competitions and getting my Varsity letter for swimming and making that FUCKING DNA MODEL. NNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGH. /hatesthednamodelmakingprocess

SO. It's Thursday. I have nothing on hand that usually pulls decent stories out of me.

And it's only 7:00.

This entry probably sucks. BUT WHO CARES? An entry is an entry 8D

Can anyone direct me to some good yaoi/yuri? Mewantstoreeeeeeed D:

Finally got a Kingdom Hearts game. I have "358/2 Days."

Sora looked better as Sora. |D

I'll be posting some random lists my friend and I made soon. We named 398 penguins, 398 otters, and listed 398 things we think we'd find in Mary Poppins' bag. XD

We like the number 398

I recently cut off a foot of my hair. It went from boob length to shoulder length :D

Uhh… Man, I can't believe I forgot to update. THIS THING IS LIKE MY FUCKIN' CHILD.

I'll try to remember more often |D

I'm always on deviantART if anyone wants to contact me.

My username: 12Haruhi34

Kthanxbai!


	19. Tis The Season

**Month 16 **(A/N - It's been so long since I've seen you, O divine writing inspiration...)

**25th of August, 2012**

_**Dear Diary,**_

Ah, the Season. Warm weather, booming business, and dozens of galas to attend, all begging for my attention.

Please, make it END ALREADY.

Though business has been prosperous and extremely time-consuming lately, everything else has decided to demand my attention as well.

I've gotten at least two dozen invitations to parties and galas today alone, all of which I've spent precious do-nothing time to shred.

It seems to be "Break As Many Things As Possible" month for Finnian, Baldroy, and Mey-Rin. We've had to replace many a pillar and wall due to Baldo's new "toys." Six China cabinets and a window have been destroyed as the aftermath of Mey-Rin's clumsiness. As of the moment, the inner garden looks like a funeral ground for dead and/or burned plants. Thanks for that, Finny.

I'd lost a bet with Lady Elizabeth and Sebastian, by some horrible twist of fate, the wager being a day out off my office and into the town with Lizzie, Sebastian having to be given leave for the rest of the day. I'll not get into the details of said bet, though I WILL say that it seems I can't hold my liquor as well as I'd hoped…

… Fucking tequila…

I've been kidnapped twice, had to embarrass the Yard half a dozen times, gotten my clothing soiled with someone else's blood five times, and slapped fourteen people and a chicken with my walking stick.

It's hot and everything is annoying me and I wanna go to sleeeeep. Why can't the Season be over so I can get back to classes and the weather gets cold again and the social events and Lizzie and all of the Season-related things will stop being things that demand my attention? *whinebitchmoan*

Worst reguards and a bucket of unhappy,

-Ciel.

**Oisdlxkhfjm_ojcmed,spa9;oe1-0392e8ow7dt8ifkcm_-_-/_**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Go ahead. Tell me how disappointed you are with this entry, and the abyssal gap between entries. MY FEELINGS ARE READY TO BE HURT. HIT ME WITH BAGS OF BRICKS AND HATE. DO IT.**

**Seems I will forever be referencing The Fabulous Diary of Alois Trancy. Sorry.**

**I actually haven't touched my computer more than three times this summer. I've been busy sleeping until 2:00 in the afternoon and eating and going to Six Flags. **

**I've also been playing Darksiders and Bioshock and Legend of Zelds, Phantom Hourglass and Kingdom Hearts: Recoded and Kingsdom Hearts: 358/2 Days and Ace Attorney : Investigations. 3333 All of the games, guys. All of them.**

**Oh. And watching My Little Pony, Friendship Is Magic.**

**Heads up, I'm planning on writing a commentary for My Immortal, and/or some other shitty fanfictions. I need to put my sarcastic retorts to good use.**

**Short story: Today I was at the boardwalk, and by pure CHANCE, there was an International Cosplay Day cosplay meet-up there. And I was in my John God Tier shirt. I wish I'd have known about the meet-up. I'd have gone as England. XD**

**The end.**

**You should probably expect more gaps between entries. I'm clean out of ideas. HELP. O_O**


	20. Closing Up and Shutting Down, Big Finale

*ahem.*

So, uh... This fic is basically dead-ended, huh.  
>I suppose I should apologize for letting it go untouched for so long without even a word of a hiatus or something, but frankly, I just don't feel like I need to apologize for being busy with trying to not fail in school and maintaining what small social life I possess. XD<br>I was also recently diagnosed with a form of seasonal depression abbreviated S.A.D. (rofl, but it's true), and found out today from a blood test I was forced to endure that I'm low on Calcium and Vitamin D, which is why I'm always tired and cold apparently, so now I'm stuck on meds for six years. Oh well. Whatcha gonna do. XD

So yeah, being sick and in school takes up a lot of one's time.

Anywho, to cut to the chase, I probably won't be updating this story again, after the thing I'm announcing below this text. :| Not unless I actually watch the anime and suddenly feel inspired(I have recently read up to chapter 49 for my anime/manga club, though), or one of you gives me a really good prompt. XD

Until then, I suppose we'll always have Ciel's previous shenanigans to giggle at.

**Now for the part you've been waiting for.**

So I was scrolling through the comments for this fanfic. The OLD comments. XD Looking for an idea of how to wring just one more chapter out of this damn thing.

And I found one.

**BlueFoxofWater1569** Suggested doing a sort of ask-the-main-character type thing. So that is a thing I will do. :3

Feel free to leave reviews with questions you want to hear my lovely OOC bitchy little Ciel answer. XD You could even leave questions that you want _me_ to answer. Don't be shy! I don't bite! Ciel does, though.

* * *

><p><strong>ALSO<strong>! My good friend (username: PotentiallyHarmful) and I have created a joint account :3 The username is dualWin C and S, in which I am C-Chan and she is S-Senpai XD. Relatively soon, we're going to have a couple of interactive type Homestuck stories up :3 Most likely, one will be a Truth or Dare kind of thing. We also may post some of our more badass rp's on there. XD

In conclusion, I hate blood work, kiss Ciel's Diary goodbye, and keep an eye on our joint account. XD G'night!


End file.
